Two very significant things happened to me yesterday.
1. I sent my son to school
2. I read a powerful piece of writing.
Some mornings, I see my little boy off to school. Yesterday, as he was driven away in the big yellow bus, he pressed his little face to the window, and smiled his shy sweet smile, and waved. He always sits in the last row. As the bus turned the corner, he whipped around too, to the back window, and continued waving. Now I could only see his eyes and the top of his gleaming head. But he kept stretching his arm up... Up and up, higher and higher, as if to make himself a little larger for me to see... Me too... I stood there, balancing on the very tips of my toes, calves burning, arm extended above my head as high as it could go, waving, a stupid goofy smile on my face... I must have looked so daft!
That light heart and complete and utter joy stayed with me all day.... I had loved, and was loved in return!
Later that day I read this powerful piece of writing on Facebook. It resonated within me. I even reposted it. Not because it reflected my state of mind at that time, or because I was feeling let down in any way or by any one, but because I recognised this emotion in so many relationships I have been witness to. This piece spoke of not being loved the way we want or need to be. And if this was the case, our chosen partner was not 'worth the treasure we offer' or some such pearl of wisdom. Very self-empowering.
I deliberated for a whole night on this. I was lead to two fundamental questions. I asked myself,
1. Why are you with your chosen partner?
And 2. What is love?
So: Why are you with your chosen partner... Because you love him. Or is it because you want him to love you? But he does love you. But is it the way you want or need to be loved?
No. He loves you the way he knows how to love. Period. Who the fuck are you to decide his way is wrong? You don't like it, move the fuck along. Don't stay there and moan about not being loved the "right" way.
Which brings me to - What is love?
Love is the emotion another person (or animal) arouses within you. It is this great welling-up of feeling another being is capable of raising within you.
And we are disappointed if, or worse, when, we realise that we ourselves, are not capable of raising the same wealth of emotion within our chosen partner.
I'm just saying it's OK. Because a relationship is an ongoing thing, an ever-changing living breathing organism.
Some days you're screaming at each other the worst abuse and the most hurtful things you can think of to say. There is no one you hate more than this chosen other. No one who drives you more mad.
And there are some days which are beautiful.
Just see it through....
1. I sent my son to school
2. I read a powerful piece of writing.
Some mornings, I see my little boy off to school. Yesterday, as he was driven away in the big yellow bus, he pressed his little face to the window, and smiled his shy sweet smile, and waved. He always sits in the last row. As the bus turned the corner, he whipped around too, to the back window, and continued waving. Now I could only see his eyes and the top of his gleaming head. But he kept stretching his arm up... Up and up, higher and higher, as if to make himself a little larger for me to see... Me too... I stood there, balancing on the very tips of my toes, calves burning, arm extended above my head as high as it could go, waving, a stupid goofy smile on my face... I must have looked so daft!
That light heart and complete and utter joy stayed with me all day.... I had loved, and was loved in return!
Later that day I read this powerful piece of writing on Facebook. It resonated within me. I even reposted it. Not because it reflected my state of mind at that time, or because I was feeling let down in any way or by any one, but because I recognised this emotion in so many relationships I have been witness to. This piece spoke of not being loved the way we want or need to be. And if this was the case, our chosen partner was not 'worth the treasure we offer' or some such pearl of wisdom. Very self-empowering.
I deliberated for a whole night on this. I was lead to two fundamental questions. I asked myself,
1. Why are you with your chosen partner?
And 2. What is love?
So: Why are you with your chosen partner... Because you love him. Or is it because you want him to love you? But he does love you. But is it the way you want or need to be loved?
No. He loves you the way he knows how to love. Period. Who the fuck are you to decide his way is wrong? You don't like it, move the fuck along. Don't stay there and moan about not being loved the "right" way.
Which brings me to - What is love?
Love is the emotion another person (or animal) arouses within you. It is this great welling-up of feeling another being is capable of raising within you.
And we are disappointed if, or worse, when, we realise that we ourselves, are not capable of raising the same wealth of emotion within our chosen partner.
I'm just saying it's OK. Because a relationship is an ongoing thing, an ever-changing living breathing organism.
Some days you're screaming at each other the worst abuse and the most hurtful things you can think of to say. There is no one you hate more than this chosen other. No one who drives you more mad.
And there are some days which are beautiful.
Just see it through....
